It’s time for another blog entry! Actually, it has been time, but I have been busy being very lazy, Christmas shopping, working out to compensate for all the eating I am going to do this Christmas, and relaxing with my family. As I already mentioned in my first blog entry, I have been making this holiday season my own personal season. I have been reading a book on
self-improvement (Nine Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life by Dr. Henry Cloud) and reflecting on who I want to be and what I want to do this coming year. Ironically, I watched several episodes of Iyanla, Fix My Life and found so much truth in the shows. Most people have seen the show, but in case you have not, Iyanla Vanzant helps people work through hard, life issues through counseling and confrontation.
Of course, I always try to take some helpful self-improvement hints from what I see and read. One particular episode
featured Terrell Owens, the former famous football star. Iyanla was helping him deal with the issues of his past that were keeping him from living a productive life and working in the NFL. One particular issue that arose was the fact that he did not know who his father was until he was eleven; this truth only came out when he liked a girl (who was also his neighbor) and was told by his father that he could not date her because he was her brother. Let me break that down: Terrell’s neighbor was his father and Terrell had a crush on his daughter. Terrell's mother slept with her (married) neighbor when she was sixteen and they kept it secret. That was a lot to handle, but these things happen in so many families. As one who grew up as a fatherless child as the result of immature and imprudent acts of adults, I understood.
What caught my attention is that Iyanla told Terrell that it was alright for him to be upset about it. During the interview, he often responded in a way to protect his mother instead of facing the reality of his true feelings about his life. I could relate to this because I have often denied my own feelings about childhood issues in order to protect my loved ones. Seeing this
interaction between Terrell and Iyanla was freeing for me. I received my own permission to be upset about bad things done to me by others and circumstances, beyond my control, that people put me in and it felt good. I didn’t lash out on anyone or anything, but I realized that a lot of the messy situations I have dealt with in life were beyond my control and not my fault and that I could be angry about it. We often seek to mute our emotions and responses as a way of coping with our issues; however, it hinders our growth, freedom, and recovery. I know the first step to getting over past hurts is not to mute my response. Acknowledge. Accept. Deal with it and move on.
Today, for the first time in a long time, I have done absolutely nothing. I have not sought anything to do and any place to go and no obligation has sought me either! So, I am enjoying lying around my house, playing with social media (actually using Twitter and setting up an Instagram account) running after my son, playing video games with my wife, and watching terrible movies on Hulu, Netflix, and Dish Network with various company. Funny enough, today, I actually am enjoying it. Usually, I must have something to do or I feel unaccomplished and aimless. When I stopped to think about and admit that a lot of my self-worth was wrapped up in activity, I resolved in 2014 to never allow this again. If I want to do nothing, then I will do nothing and I will still be important and fulfilled! This is a big resolve for me. I usually load up my time and schedule with singing, preaching, writing papers for classes, work, etc. When I have leisure time, I even load that up as well with movies, shopping, etc. Activity! Truthfully, I probably need to observe the Sabbath with Seventh Day Adventists and Jewish people, but that’s a little too much for me. However, I get the principle of rest and taking time to worship and reflect. So, I encourage you all to do the same. Do nothing every once and a while. Keep me accountable. Peace!
Welcome to the mind and heart of Hassan T. Kingsberry! This is my first ever blog and I am excited to finally embrace writing and sharing my feelings, thoughts, experiences, and life lessons with you (other than on Facebook). I pray you, the readers, will be encouraged and empowered to live your best LIFE--a fulfilled life centered on LOVE, INTEGRITY, FAITH, and EXCELLENCE!
So, it's my favorite time of the year, the Christmas Holiday Season! Besides getting a break from work to spend time with family and friends, it is my primary season of reflection. As I prepare for the New Year, I am much more introspective and I get more perspective and resolve to make the approaching year the best I have ever lived. This year is no different. I am excited about embarking upon becoming more physically fit, putting the finishing touches on and publishing my first book, and travelling to places I've always wanted to visit. The goal is that each year gets better than the year before.
If I had to come up with a theme for this blog, I would call it "This is Your Season." Just as the Holidays are a special season to commemorate the birth of Christ and to bring in a fresh new year, it is also a time to enjoy, reflect upon, celebrate, and recreate YOU! It's a time to make plans, assess the execution of the plans you made in the past, recharge, forgive, love, laugh, reconnect with dreams and people. While making the Holidays festive, take the time to enjoy and fully experience the only life you have to live--your own! Then, reflect on how you can enjoy it even more with decisions and purposeful action! Go inward some and make this your personal season.
There's nothing deep in this first blog. Just make this Holiday special by making it your own. Reflect this year on how you can maximize your life. I've come to understand that every moment is precious and you do not get "do overs." Set your course to fulfill every dream, reach every goal, and be the person you want to be (within the restraints of your budget and faith...) As you commemorate the birth of Christ and the life He came into the world to give, make sure you are living your best life with no regrets, minimal stress and heartache, fulfilling relationships, rewarding occupational pursuits, and helping others do the same. Have a wonderful day and great Holiday season!