It’s the eve of my 45th birthday and the first time I have written in this blog this year. I've got to do better! It really is weird to write that I WILL BE 45 YEARS OLD! Wow. I thought 45 was so "old" when my mom was 45! I don't feel old at all and I feel like my 45 is a lot younger than my mom's. Someone recently told me that 50 is where your body starts feeling like your age. I sure hope not.
It's been a good year! I've done things I've never done and always wanted to do and shared very special moments with my family that include the following:

• My wife, Francemise, and I finally went to Paris! (and London!) Both of us have dreamed of going to Paris since we were children and this year we made it happen! Although we have been to France before, we didn't get to go to Paris. It was absolutely amazing: the monuments (especially the Eiffel Tower!), museums, history, food, shopping, all of the trip was awesome!
• Francemise and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary and renewed our vows in the Bahamas! It was romantic and special. The gazebo overlooking the ocean; the anointed officiant and prayer; my children serving as ring bearer and flower girl; the clear, blue water; our dolphin excursion; me doing karaoke for the first time; everything was perfect!
• I was able to make some dreams come true for my wife, which I live to do because she loves me so well! I was able to assist her with making the 1st annual gala for the Mes Papillons Foundation as success. (www.mespapillons.org) She founded the organization in honor of our daughters, Amira and Kelyn, who battled with and succumbed to the rare, genetic disease, Neiman Pic Type C (NPC). The organization provides medical equipment, not covered by insurance, to families with children that have rare diseases. The gala was beautiful! I was also able to affirm my wife to the office of Prophet in our ministry and the Lord's Church. She has always been one to know things by the Spirit of God and speak to give direction, comfort, and encouragement to others, especially me. Thus, I felt it's time for her to wear her title and walk in the Office.
• My children continue to do well and thrive in all they do and they are really my greatest gifts. My son loves basketball and my daughter loves gymnastics, which is amazing to me because I was never athletic. They continue to amaze me with their gifts, talents, and abilities. Most exciting to me is that they sing well and we sing as a family! They can harmonize and have awesome pitch and tone!

I'm very thankful to be alive and healthy! I've dealt with a lot of sickness and loss of loved ones over the years, so I don't take my own life, health and strength for granted. I did lose my paternal grandfather, who was like my father, but he lived such a long life and left a great legacy that the grieving process hasn't been like with my mom, Kelyn, and Amira. I still miss my mom, Kelyn, and Amira and what I wish could have been, but I seek to live from here on out with no more regrets and to make their lives and memories count!
Because it's a milestone year, I'm having a party with good music and laughter! I'm celebrating my birthday, but also 15 years of being in ministry. I've been pastoring, preaching, teaching the Word of God, mentoring, discipling, and encouraging people to pursue and live out their God-given purpose. I continue to testify and challenge people to overcome and live through any and all adversity to enjoy a fulfilling LIFE. I'm going to enjoy this 45th year of life, even do some new things, and continue to live with and encourage you to live with LOVE, INTEGRITY, FAITH, and EXCELLENCE!

I’ve been a full cloud all weekend, ready to drop water at any moment. As I sit overlooking I-440 at from the Renaissance Hotel, the dam has burst! I come here each year because this spot in Raleigh was where two worlds collided for me. It's like a Bethel or holy place for me. Also, I was born in North Carolina's Capital City.

I was raised by my mom and never really asked about my father until a cousin and I had an altercation. It was a normal fight, but he called me an ugly name I hated so I said, "Your Daddy." He responded, "at least I have one." Oh, we fought for sure after that, but it caused me to finally ask my mom who my father was. As if she knew the moment was coming, she somehow got in touch with my father's father, my grandfather, and we went on a trip to Raleigh from Warren County to meet him. I was excited to be gathering this lost piece of myself, but then something happened and we ended up driving on I-440 and passing the time.

Looking up down from the Renaissance, this part of the Beltline was near the spot where I remember my mom telling me I'd have to wait to meet my Grandfather. I was disappointed. However, the meeting was delayed, but not denied. On a later weekend, my mother took me to meet my Grandfather and I spent a weekend with him and met many of my father's family members. I would later meet my father, but that's another story.

As I look across the Beltline, at the Raleigh skyline today, all I can say is "If it had not been for the Lord by my side, where would I be?!" I’m especially grateful to turn 44 because there were times when I didn’t know if I’d live this long. I don’t say this lightly, but the enemy has attacked me my whole life. I speak freely about my life to encourage others, but there are so many stories I haven't even told. I knew at a young age I’d have to serve the Lord and take daring and uncomfortable stands, but I never expected some of the things I'd live through. Yet, I know now it was for the sake of the call of God on my life.

My story didn’t begin with me. As a child, I vividly remember my mother’s prayers in a small apartment in Arizona that God would help her raise me and my brother. She would often say she didn't know what to do. I always loved my mother deeply, but the family trauma and dysfunction that she endured would greatly impact me even as an adult. I'd become her caretaker while taking care of my own sick children. I would further grow up in poverty without a father and have him not want to have anything to do with me due to his own issues, but God has been my Father and sent others for me to learn from.

I've heard that I am a walking miracle. I was born prematurely weighing 2 pounds 7 ounces and I once heard they left babies like me alone to see if we’d survive because back then, they didn’t have the technology to keep us alive. My relatives tell me of the shoe boxes and dresser drawers I used to fit in. I’ve had measles, pneumonia, lived in raggedy trailers and houses, been bitten up by bed bugs and chiggers, lived with and at the mercy of others, but still God would give me everything I wanted. Above all, I've never been hungry or without a roof over my head. I obtained my educated to make sure I got out of poverty and live comfortably.

In my adult life, I've had some adversity that I would have never imagined. I’ve lost two children to a rare disease. I also lost my mother who would always be the first to tell me Happy Birthday even after suffering strokes that left her unable to talk and move freely. She'd find a way to get me a card or gift the day before my birthday. This year my in-laws were the first! No matter what, God has always made things up to me. I can assuredly say that He has still given me everything I've ever wanted!

When I tell stories, people’s jaws drop, but then their hands end up and they end up crying with me. I have testimony after testimony of the goodness of the Lord! Last year, God gave me a job that I know without a doubt that He set up just for me. So, there’s no telling what He’ll do for me this year. In fact, I was minding my business eating out with friends and Shirley Caesar, a world famous Gospel singer somehow ended up serenading me with a Happy Birthday!

I can assuredly say the hand of the Lord has been on me all my life. This year, I have no gift or party requests. God has given me my greatest gifts in my wife and children who always seek to make me happy. My second greatest gift for me is being able to give them whatever they want and need and to walk in any store and buy it. I used to have to always wait for everything because we didn't have, but now I know my Mom, my Dad, and my Granddad did the best the best they could.

God has been my keeper and my friend! He's completely turned my life around with and through the love of my wife, Dr. Francemise Kingsberry. I can boldly say I will serve the Lord for the rest of my life and always stand and speak for Him no matter the discomfort or challenge! For as many sad or bad things that have happened in my life, there have been double happy and good things. I have testimony after testimony on top of testimony of the goodness and mercy of God.

Know for sure that when the hand of the Lord is on your life, you can trust Him with everything that has or will happen in your life. He's working ALL THINGS for your good! Don't accept the negative reports, life through the adversity, and keep your faith and trust in God. You will dwell and live in Romans 8:28! Find your purpose! LIVE on PURPOSE!

      Happy New Year! We made it to 2021 after experiencing a year like no other! 2020 was very challenging as we faced, and are still facing, a global pandemic.  We dealt with, and are still dealing with, racial and political tensions and tipping points that have culminated in a Joe Biden becoming the President-Elect of the United States of America; Kamala Harris, becoming the first woman and person of color Vice President; the Democratic party being back in power; and the President Trump inciting rioting at the U.S. Capitol building, but finally conceding that he lost the election.  It's just been a lot.  Yet, God has been with us.
     Personally, 2020 began with the passing of my daughter, Kelyn, and ended with the passing of my beloved mother, Rev. Sheila Kingsberry-Burt.  She suffered some strokes in 2007 that left her living in a nursing home since that time.  The strokes left her different physically, but her essence remained as she continued to live and thrive.  I oversaw the care of my first best friend until on November 23rd, 2020 when I got a call from the nursing home telling me that she was having seizures.  I rushed to a hospital to find her unresponsive and to watch her pass from an infection that was untreated or not treated well.
     I am still in the grief process, but I am ok.  I am hopeful and encouraged in the fact that my mother was a strong believer in the Lord Jesus Christ and she imparted many of the best things about herself to me.  I also find great solace in the many prolific and prophetic words of poetry that I listened to her speak over the years.  Thankfully, she transcribed them and I published some of them before her passing.  
     I'm also encouraged to know and want to encourage you with the fact that the same God that kept you through it all in 2020 and brought you to 2021 will continue to keep you in #TwentyTwentyOne and beyond!  We made it and things will get better! I will continue to inspire and encourage you to keep going no matter what life adversity you face.  My social media outlets remain available to help you live your best LIFE (love, integrity, faith, and excellence)!  Check out my YouTube Channel for videos also, as I have found that I have many words that sometimes, you just need to hear!  
                       God bless you abundantly and keep going no matter what! 

Early last month, the U.S. was impacted by the coronavirus and the diseased it causes, COVID-19. Other nations had been and have been impacted as well and it is a global pandemic.  States, including North Carolina, where I live, have issued stay-at-home orders to help stop the spread of the deadly virus.  Schools have been closed.  Courts have been closed.  Retailers, that don't sell necessary items, have been closed. Thus, for months, we have primarily been at home and I have actually had time to write. I had been working on a second book for years and I am actually about to finish it and possibly release it this month.  Wow.
     More personally important, about 5 days before the stay-at-home order was issued, on March 9th, 2020 at about 3:30 a.m., my daughter Kelyn, pictured to the left, went home to be with the Lord.  She was diagnosed in November of 2017 with a genetic disorder called, Niemann-Pick Disease Type C (NPC).  For more information, you can read here (https://nnpdf.org/overview/#NPC).  For almost 3 years we watched her health decline as she struggled with the condition.  I had another daughter, Amira, who passed away from similar symptoms in 2010.  We had no idea of what the condition was back then, but found out upon Kelyn's diagnosis.  
     I miss Kelyn.  She was my beautiful baby girl.  Unlike with Amira, I remember everything about Kelyn from birth to death.  During Amira's life, my wife and I dealt with so many other family emergencies and situations that I had to fight for memories after she passed.  I've been grieving, but I honestly began the grief process when we got Kelyn's diagnosis. 
     The picture on the left below, while sad, is beautiful.  It reflects my family's new normal of enjoying each other while holding on to the memories and what we have left of Amira and Kelyn.  You see Amira's beautiful headstone, Kelyn's beautiful casket and floral spray, and my other beautiful children blowing bubbles commemorating Amira's birthday.  On March 14th, 2020, Amira would have turned 14, the same day we buried Kelyn.  
     Of course, there's comedy.  The bubble over my eye as I give someone a sarcastic smirk.  Joy in the midst of pain.  Beauty and fun intertwined with sadness.  LIFE.  No matter what, because God has made us strong, we are alright and it will all make us better.  It's purposed adversity.  Speaking of purpose, I recently released a second book called the Fight for Purpose that discusses finding and fulfilling purpose.  Check it out. 

Two days ago, my wife reminded me that my first child, my daughter, Amira Elyse Kingsberry's birthday was today. Normally, I remember it before it comes each year, but when my wife said it, it caught me off guard. I've been so busy with work stuff. Most times, it would make me sad or I'd fight tears, but this year it startled me. It just shook me a little. I said, "whoa" and before I could really think about it or reflect, I had to go attend to my children who were avoiding going to sleep like I told them!

Amira's life and death always make me think about my purpose in life and whether I am living it. I think the reminder startled me because I recently did some soul searching about one of my occupations and decided it just wasn't my destiny. It shouldn't have startled me because I have learned to live by faith and trust God. However, you do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

People always told me I would be and It had always been prophesied to me that I'd be a preacher, but I didn't want to do it. In my mind, preachers made no money and I grew up in the land of preachers and churches where everyone went to church, but had the same problems everyone else did (I mean even the hype, Charismatic, Pentecostal, sho 'nuff Bible-teaching, churches). Thus, I never wanted to be labeled as a hypocrite, even though I had times in life where I was... Lord, help. 

Eventually, I accepted the calling. It was just who I was: a preacher. And I wanted to be living this purpose as my daughter and children grew up. So, in 2007, my wife and I moved back to NC in pursuit of purpose. We planted the church that God had put in my heart. I pursued my purpose to be the preacher I had always knew God had called me to be and it was because of Amira.

I encourage you, if you're nosey enough, to buy and read my book The Fourth Man Principle. It's an easy read about purposed adversity and our struggle with Amira's health, decline, and eventual passing. It was the greatest challenge of my faith and life, but I have learned so much from the experience. It has has fueled my heart and passion as a purpose-driven preacher, pastor, and servant of God in ways that I never imagined.

So, when my wife reminded me of Amira's birthday, I was startled because I knew that it was time to gauge whether I'm living out my purpose again. This is the same purpose that brought us back to NC and fueled the resilience to weather the storms of life and ministry. I asked myself, "Are you doing what God told you to do? Did Amira die in vain?" And in recent years, God called me out of public education, though I tried to stay on that pay scale with those benefits. I tried to make it my purpose because it had become comfortable, but in 2014 He shifted me. I didn't know what to do when I left education, but God led me back into law practice and supernaturally touched my firm as I trusted Him.

Now, it's time for me to make another change and to refocus. I don't think I'll be able to completely come out law practice, but I must press into Kingdom advancement more.  Although I've been in ministry for eight years, there's more to do. 

It's one thing to know, but to really know is another thing. Years ago, in 2010, while trying to get answers about Amira's illness, the Lord told me and reaffirmed my life purpose to me. I'll never forget it. At my dentist's office I heard in that deep place: "Your purpose is to be my mouthpiece, you will use your creative and artistic gifts, but the main purpose is to speak for me—You and your whole household after you." And I promised to do just this: Speak for God! So, today, I reaffirm this purpose and commit to it more fully in honor and memory of my baby girl, Amira Elyse Kingsberry.

38) Being Valedictorian of the Warren County High School Class of 1997.
 
37) The birth of my first child, Amira Elyse Kingsberry at Cobb Wellstar Hospital in Austell, Georgia.
 
36) The morning we woke up to find that Amira had passed away in her sleep, October 15th, 2010. 
 
35) The birth of my son, Hassan II, at Wake Med Hospital in Raleigh, NC, November 30th, 2012 after my wife’s nurse told her to push with her bottom and not her mouth!  I hollered inside, but did not say a word…
 
34) Watching them pull my twins, Keren and Kelyn out of my wife via C-section on September 10th, 2014.  Wow.
 
33) My wedding day, July 19th, 2003.  I cried like baby.  Francemise was so beautiful and the singing ensemble took me in!
 
32) The first time I saw Francemise Kingsberry at Hill Hall at UNC in August of 2002.  She would look at me then hide her eyes like she wasn’t looking.
 
31)  March of 2007 when I found out my mom had had her first stroke.
 
30)  The first church service we had for Rebirth and Renewal Church International at the Ambassador Suites Hotel in Henderson, NC in October of 2008.
 
29)  Singing “Dona Nobis Pacem at a 3rd grade Recital in Aiken, SC.  I was fancy singing opera!
 
28)  Singing "It Will Be All Right" by John P. Kee in 5th grade with Jordan Chapel Baptist Church Youth Choir.  I had to think real hard to change the lyrics because I was not born in Durham, NC outside the county line nor was I the 15th child of 16 children.
 
27)  Passing the Georgia Bar exam in 2005.
 
26)  Passing the North Carolina Bar exam in 2009 and all the many things that tried to keep me from studying that summer and my friend who went over with me all the topics that happened to be on the test and the flat tire I had trying to leave the test the last day!
 
25)  "My Boo" and "Come on Ride That Train" and the Nutty Professor soundtrack at Governor’s school in the summer of 2006!
 
24) When I first heard Karen Clark-Sheard in concert at World Changers Church in ATL and met her and was star struck!
 
23) The first time I heard hundreds of people pray in tongues at WCCI at once.  The Holy Ghost!  The Holy Ghost!
 
22)  Dancing with Francemise at the Coronation Ball in 2001 and trying not to touch her hip, but wanting to touch her hip. 
 
21) Buying my first car, the Black Geo Metro.  I and others folded up in it a many a day and flossed just like it was a Benz!
 
20) Smoking my first cigarette in 6th grade trying to fit in.
 
19) Smoking my last cigarette in February of 2007; that deliverance took a long time!
 
18) Buying our first house in Austell, GA.  It was the first house we saw, but looked for a long time after seeing it like we weren’t going to come right back to it.
 
17) The big window in Mece's apartment when we first married where we watched the city lights and listened to Chocolate Factory by R. Kelly.  My Lord!
 
16) My first trial in Clayton county, GA.  I was so nervous, but I won.  I think the jurors took pity on me.
 
15)  Learning to ride a bike in Twin Oaks Trailer Park in Franklin County, NC.  My cousins pushed me down a hill/dirt path and did not care if I fell!  But, I learned how to ride that bike that day! 
 
14) My first plane ride from NY to AZ by myself as a child. 
 
13)  The many laughs I had teaching social studies in Warren County with my crazy classes (particularly when one of my students was drunk and told another he had slept with her momma!  His commentary led to our discovery of intoxication.)
 
12). My first day at my first job as an Asst. Principal at Bunn High School and the petition the kids sent around the school to get me fired because they thought I made all the changes that year. 
 
11) When all my kids walked for the first time. 
 
10)  9/11 
 
9) Seeing Europe and being able to visit several countries in one day.   
 
8) Flying to Japan and the plane ride I had to get intoxicated to take.  Saki is nasty, but it got me there and back.
 
7) Meeting my father's father (grandfather), Swade Exum for the first time and remembering how tall he was.  I never thought I would get that tall, but did.
 
6). Laughing and busting 'tines (routines) with Dorie Davis and that video we made at King’s Dominion to “Cool Like That” by Digable Planets.  Burn it, Dorie!  Burn it!
 
5) When I tried out for basketball in middle school and threw up every night after practice and let that dream go…
 
4)  Figuring out that I was going to have to cuss and call names to make it on bus 116 to make it. One day I called somebody an "ashy back heiffer" and they stopped picking on me.
 
3) Eating authentic Mexican food in Tijuana, Mexico and the police telling us not to cross a certain street or else...
 
2) When I got saved at 5 years old at a revival in Phoenix, AZ. 
 
1)  Yesterday, when my mother gave me $5 for my Birthday and hugged me and told me she loved me.  I cried like a baby.